Acid is like photoshop for brain.
to catch a bus you have to think like a bus
if someone was covered in paper cuts and you threw them into a pool of lemon juice how long do you think it would take them to die
what circle of dante’s inferno did you crawl out of
what if you rolled their body in salt first
easy there, satan
margarita of pain
COOL DATE IDEA: take a really long nap with me
plot twist: for Halloween a black cat dresses up as a white girl
my fashion sense is called i am cold and pissed off
when u accidentally say something REALLY RUDE in front of people u just met
That’s a keeper for the wedding album.
this would be the cover of my thank you for attending cards
I’m going to go get myself a dr pepper from the fridge
just got back from getting a dr pepper from the fridge
took a few sips
still drinking it. about halfway done
maybe a couple sips left
finished the dr pepper
A guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.
it aint nothin to cut that bitch off